Seriously. WTF is a '72 Hyundai Cataleer??

Allow D-Roc and Kaine of the Ying Yang Twins to explain it to you in their episode of "Cribs". Translated especially for you!

Warning: Subtitles not safe for work. Actual language not safe for your intelligence.

Funny or Frightening?

Each time I look at this picture I laugh, and then I get scared for what is likely to happen if this legislation passes. He are are two interesting stories that don't seem to mean much to Obama for whatever reason. As long as his bill passes....

The planned health bill, as of right now, has increased in tax payer cost to 1.2 trillion. That's 300 billion dollars more tha lucifer satan beezlebub Nancy Pelosi claimed it would be.

The planned health bill also will create 111 new bureaucracies. That's 111 more than the thousands too many this country already has.

And the picture:

VB's 10/30/2009 Winner - The Results Show

Everybody has an off week or two. After two consecutive losing weeks, I think I just turned the corner. No more losing weeks!! Also, I do believe Lane Kiffin is changing the long-held "don't bet on Tennessee when they are favored" rule. That's nice because I always enjoy betting, and winning, on the Vols when they're favored. Here we go!

Overall Record - 14 and 16

Ranking The SEC Traditions - Round Two, the University of Arkansas

Here comes round two in my rankings. Round one saw Alabama come out with a 65, and up next on the alphabetical list is Arkansas.

Here's how I started this series, and Arky's ratings are after the jump.

I've been meaning to do my own version of this for a while now. Everytime I attend or watch a Tennessee game, I am pleased to take in the traditions of other schools as the pagentry surrounding the football game itself is one of the biggest draws for the SEC. Every school has unique traditions of their own, and many traditions are shared, just in different ways or formats.

So, I'm gonna take on the daunting task of ranking them as impartially as my Orange blood will allow. I won't be including Tennessee's since they would obviously be number one coming from me.

Here are the categories. They are worth 10 points a piece, and the rankings will be total team score with a maximum of 100. I'll rank one school at a time as my own time permits, and then do a final tally and compilation once everyone has been ranked.

Categories are:

1. Stadium - General beauty, capacity, perceived loudness, and any nicknames or traditions therein.
2. Fans - Type of fans and loyalty primarily influence this ranking.
3. Mascot - Intimidation factors heavily in this one. Live mascots get bonus points.
4. Uniforms - Are they hideous or not?
5. Tailgating - Does it exist? How much fun is it? This one may be difficult for me since I've never been to an away game.
6. Fight songs - Speaks for itself really
7. Post-game traditions after a win - What happens after the home team wins?
8. All-time greats - Who were some of the great players from the school's history?
9. Team nickname - This is based on orginality and intimidation as well as my own personal feelings.
10. All-time program success - How often do they and have they won?

So, with that out there, here the rankings, in my opinion as a Tennessee fan, and in alphabetical order:

VB's Winners - 10/30/2009

A one game improvement is still an improvement!! At least I'll keep telling myself that. I do feel good about some games this week, so my percentage should jump up some. As always, you can gamble with free money and keep what you win over at CentSports. Let's check 'em out!

Last Week - 4 and 6
Overall - 14 and 16

Ranking The SEC Traditions - Up First, the University of Alabama

I've been meaning to do my own version of this for a while now. Everytime I attend or watch a Tennessee game, I am pleased to take in the traditions of other schools as the pagentry surrounding the football game itself is one of the biggest draws for the SEC. Every school has unique traditions of their own, and many traditions are shared, just in different ways or formats.

So, I'm gonna take on the daunting task of ranking them as impartially as my Orange blood will allow. I won't be including Tennessee's since they would obviously be number one coming from me.

Home of the best traditions in college football. Obviously.

Here are the categories. They are worth 10 points a piece, and the rankings will be total team score with a maximum of 100. I'll rank one school at a time as my own time permits, and then do a final tally and compilation once everyone has been ranked.

Categories are:

1. Stadium - General beauty, capacity, perceived loudness, and any nicknames or traditions therein.
2. Fans - Type of fans and loyalty primarily influence this ranking.
3. Mascot - Intimidation factors heavily in this one. Live mascots get bonus points.
4. Uniforms - Are they hideous or not?
5. Tailgating - Does it exist? How much fun is it? This one may be difficult for me since I've never been to an away game.
6. Fight songs - Speaks for itself really
7. Post-game traditions after a win - What happens after the home team wins?
8. All-time greats - Who were some of the great players from the school's history?
9. Team nickname - This is based on orginality and intimidation as well as my own personal feelings.
10. All-time program success - How often do they and have they won?

So, with that out there, here the rankings, in my opinion as a Tennessee fan, and in alphabetical order:

Intermission - A Few Of My Favorite Sites

I'm working up the first installment of a series ranking the various traditions of SEC schools, but in the meantime I thought I would share just a few sites I visit for a good laugh. If you enjoy the misfortune or idiocy of others, check these out. Be warned though, you may be there a while....

1. People of Walmart - If you don't already know about this one, you might be one of the people in the pictures. This site documents the "humanity" of WalMart. Enjoy

2. There I Fixed It - This site documents great moments in duct-tape-engineering. Quite hilarious.

3. Texts From Last Night - A site I just recently discovered, but an instant classic for sure. This site documents all kinds of the weird, hilarious, and crazy text messages that are sent late at night and then submitted. The texts are then ranked for a "good night", or a "bad night". For instance:

(505): Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.

I call that a good night!

Enjoy these sites while I work on my tradition rankings and get my picks ready to go up this afternoon.

Today's "US Government Making It Rain With Your Tax Dollars" Moment

Thanks to a tip from golfballs03, a certain website will provide "income-eligible customers" with a government sponsored cell phone. Allow me to clarify "income-eligible" as likely referring to welfare-addicted bums. Now, before I'm crucified for that statement, let me state that I am aware some people on welfare/unemployment/disability have a legitimate reason and won't be there for long, but most people will be because of laziness and that's a fact. So, now Obama is gonna give you a ballin' cell phone so you're sure to make it to your job interviews right?

This guy is in line at a community kitchen. Seriously.

And that's today's "US Government Making It Rain With Your Tax Dollars" moment.....

Once Again, He Swings And Misses

I may be a day behind on this topic, but not near as far behind as our hard working President is with his decision. Obama has now said he won't rush decision on Afghanistan strategy or troop levels because he doesn't want to risk the lives of our American servicemen and women here at home until it's "absolutely necessary". Furthermore, he went on to say that:

"Fourteen Americans gave their lives. And our prayers are with these service members, their civilian colleagues and the families who loved them," Obama said. "They were willing to risk their lives, in this case to prevent Afghanistan from again becoming a safe haven for Al Qaeda and its extremist allies."

You're only half right there Obama. They were willing to risk their lives for the reasons you mentioned and more, but I'm pretty damn sure they weren't willing to risk their lives because they are understaffed and not supported by your administration. Helicopter crashes and accidents will happen, but as an undermanned military force stretches themselves farther and farther, they will happen at an exponentially increasing rate. So, once again I say, get off your ass Obama, stop glad-handing celebrities and fund raising, stop playing golf and basketball, and do your job before more are killed because of your "patience". That is all....

VB's...ummm...Winners? 10/27/2009 - The Results Show

As a Scottish friend of mine said after last week, "let me know when the picks are up so I can take the opposite". May not be a bad idea after two consecutive piss-poor weeks. But, my adage held true, if Tennessee is a double digit underdog, bet the house. Let's examine the carnage....

Overall - 10 and 10

VB's Winners - 10/23/2009

Well well well. Surely I can't do worse than last week. Right? There is one I'm absolutely sure of this week and that's our very own Tennessee Vols. Like I've said before, I normally don't advise betting on Tennessee unless they are double digit underdogs. Sure enough, Bama is a 14.5 point favorite over at our free gambling site, so this is gonna be the lock this week. No way Bama covers that spread on Tennessee. So, with that one out there, here are the rest:

Last Week - 3 and 7
Overall - 10 and 10

A Demotivational Poster is Worth a Thousand Words

Comment Of The Week

You know you do it. You're reading a story, sometimes about your favorite team/food/actor/whatever, and you accidentally catch yourself reading the comments section at the bottom. Unless it's a blog you frequent, odds are you'll be either slightly amused or highly annoyed/disgusted by what you find. It's the proverbial train wreck you can't turn away from.

Well, it was the former case for me as I started in on the Steve Phillips harrassment controversy. It seems that ESPN has yet another sexual harrassment problem on it's hands. In this case, baseball personality Steve Phillips seems to have been involved with a, how shall I say, "less than attractive" member of the production staff. The story can be read at that link, but I managed to dig this gem out of the comments section:

Monica Lewinsky had a pretty face, at least. This thing belongs under a bridge, thinking up questions.

Mean? Absolutely. Hilarious? Also, absolutely. There are some other good ones in there, but this one is the..........comment of the week.

Thursday Morning? Time to Vent!

Remember when XM Radio came out way back when? Remember how it always branded and marketed itself as "commercial free" radio? WTF happened?!?!

On the way to work this morning, a 15 mile drive, I was treated to ads that encouraged me to cleanse my colon for FREE!!111, turn my $20,000 in credit card debt into wealth for FREE!1!!1, give me a nicotine-flavored-water-vapor-producing electronic cigarette for FREE!!!111!1, and I better make sure I listen to the Falco Artist Confidential on XM/Sirius channel 2.

Over that 15 mile drive this morning, I found one song, ONE, I was able to listen to between the 8-10 channels I usually check. That's a worse ratio than my 6 Sony Walkman FM presets back in '93. What's next? Ads synced to my iPod with the rest of my music?

Venting over, carry on.........

Am I The Only One That Thinks This Is Ridiculous And A Bit Scary?

The White house, re: Obama, has continued to attack Fox News this week and has now gone as far as pronouncing them an "illegitimate news organization". Seriously? Obama apparently can't take the heat and is leaning on the "White House Correspondents Association to decide whether Fox News should continue to be part of the White House pool which covers President Obama." Yes, I know that is a link to a FoxNews.com article, but I wanted it to be. I know that Fox News is not "fair and balanced", especially in the opinion arena, but they are far more so than CNN because they actually report the news instead of deciding what is news like CNN.

A few examples.

VB's 10/16/2009 Winners - The Results Show

Ummmmmmm, ok then. I guess that's the reason I gamble with the advertisers' money and not my own. A couple things are more than obvious to me after last week. Do not bet on Auburn as a favorite unless you want them to lose. I guess I found their weakness. I also learned that the Titans are really, really, really bad, but I think a lot of people did as well. So, with no further stalling, let's examine the carnage.

VB's Winners - 10/16/2009

I'm back with my second round of picks for the weekend after going 7-3 the first go 'round. As always, these are for fun and I assume no liability for lost cars, homes, college funds, or meth labs (sorry North Georgia!). If you want to bet with free money and keep what you earn, go to CentSports and get you a free, no-strings attached account to bet with. So, away we go!

Last week's record - 7-3
All-time record - 7-3

This week's picks:

Today's "Funny Because It's True" Moment

The video is quite funny, but also an intelligent indictment of Obama's willingness to "negotiate" with anything and everything. This tendency of his is making a mockery of our foreign policy objectives as evidenced by the recent Russian policy change to "preemptive strikes" with nuclear weapons, their refusal to allow US inspection teams to their nuclear sites at the same time their own teams were at ours, and their blocking of any additional sactions against Iran. A country which has demonstrated their desire to manufacture nuclear weapons and destroy Israel. So, enjoy this humerous, but accurate portrayal of Obama's policy of negotiations.
 

Why We Tie - America's Politically Correct Wars

Prior to 1952, the United States' record was roughly 10-0 in wars fought. That includes the Civil War and could be one or two higher or lower depending on your definition of "skirmish", "conflict", and "war". Some may not count, or there might be more, but the point is there were no losses. Since 1952, including the Korean War, our record is more along the lines of 2-0-5. This record includes ties in the Korean War, the Vietnam War, Desert Storm, Iraqi Freedom, and Enduring Freedom. The last two are added in direct result of the foreign policy indecision of the Obama/Biden administration. The two victories are in the "skirmish"/"conflict" category in the form of Operation Just Cause (Panama), and Operation Urgent Fury (Grenada). Why have we started failing to win with our overwhelming military might? Very simple. Modern wars, since 1952 that is, have become a political action rather than the result of failed dilpomacy.

Why We Need MOPs

No, not the floor polishing kind either. I'm talking about this bad boy:

Massive Ordinance Penetrator. heh.

That there is a 15 ton bomb the US Military has designed to penetrate underground facilities. The bomb will be the largest yield non-nuclear bomb in our arsenal and have the ability to penetrate up to 10,000 pounds of reinforced concrete and explode up to 200 feet below ground. We need more of these and I'll tell you why.

Some Tuesday Afternoon Hilarity....

If you don't know about Toby Jones, you should, and that's why I'm here. These videos have been floating around for awhile now, but I just thought I should share them altogether at one time for about 6 minutes of apoplectic hilarity. Check out the first one now, and the second two after the jump. Nothing like a foot rub with your good ass bbq!! Enjoy...

Why Alex Rodriguez Needs to Send Selena Roberts a Thank You Note

If you follow baseball in the least bit, you likely know what Alex Rodriguez did in the recently completed ALDS. Even if your team was eliminated at the end of the season and you hate the Yankees, you still probably know that A-Rod is responsible for the Yankees' three game sweep of the Twins. A-Rod drove in two runs with two crucial hits in the game one victory, hit the monster two-run homer in the bottom of the ninth to tie game two, and then hit the home run to tie game three. The Yankees obviously went on to win both games. "So what" you say? He's the highest paid and best hitter available and should be doing that? Well, I won't argue with you there, but his recent history will. Until game one of the ALDS, A-Rod had not a single RBI in a postseason game since game 3 of the 2004 ALCS against Boston. Not one. What changed you ask? Well, I certainly don't think I'm the first to say this, but I can't believe more people aren't pointing at this lady:

"I'm the reason the Yankees will win the World Series!!"

Selena Roberts. The woman that outed A-Rod's steroid use with the Texas Rangers.

VB's 10/09/2009 Winners - The Results Show

Last Friday, I gave you my picks for the weekend, I don't think I did terrible, but I wasn't perfect either. Especially with my "LOCK OF THE WEEK!!!!111111". Thanks to this guy:

"I am resigning to accept the soon-to-be-vacant head coach position at the University of Arkansas. Wait. What?"

Arkansas' upset and total demolishing of Auburn came as quite a shock, but I really didn't care too much as I only saw that score flash up in Neyland while I watched Tennessee smash the puppies and seal one of my picks. So, here we go:

Ahhhhhhh, That Felt Good

What a game, what a day, what a weekend. Got up early Saturday, made it Knoxville, and saw Tennessee demolish Georgia. Fantastic game, I hate Georgia, the Vols beat the hell out of them, and I got to talk smack to Georgia fans. Great stuff. I provided Rocky Top Talk with a wrap-up and photo essay yesterday, so go check it out if you like at the second link.

Also took in another fantastic Yankees game last night. Once again, A-Rod came through and provided the spark, home runs, and RBI's the Yanks needed to put the Twins away. He's a changed ballplayer this postseason and I have a theory why I'll get to this afternoon.....

It's Finally The Weekend - clap, clap --- clap, clap, clap....

And I'm off to Neyland early in the morning to watch Tennessee pound the widdle puppies from down south. Go Vols, Go Yankees, Go Titans. Everybody have fun and I'll see you Monday!

This is where I'll be!

VB's Winners - 10/09/2009

As I promised when I told you about the entirely-free-no-strings-attached gambling site, here is the first installment of what I hope (in jest) will turn me into:

Sam Rothstein - Professional Handicapper

I'll list my picks after the jump. If you think I'm off with some let's hear it in the comments. Otherwise, I assume no liability for anybody losing their children's college money, house, car, or meth lab (North Georgia) by using these picks to gamble.

So, here we go:

It's Time To Hate Georgia

Many people might claim that Alabama or Florida would be Tennessee's biggest rival, but those same many people probably don't live on the border with the armpit of the world, North Georgia. Being so close to this redneck paradise allows me to gather an infinite amount of insight as to what truly awful, terrible people Georgia fans are.

I'll be at the game Saturday in Neyland and look forward to a thourough humiliation of the "Dawgs". Wrap-up will come on Monday. Until then, enjoy this post over at RTT for more reasons to hate Georgia.

Big Bird Tells It Like It Is!!

Michelle Obama recently made an appearance on Sesame Street where Big Bird finally got to do his hard hitting interview with her. Get her Big Bird!!

Obama Hangs a Magic 8-Ball In The White House -- Seriously

This is supposed to be a joke by the Obamas I believe, but it actually is a fair indication of what he has done thus far as President - nothing. Each time a new President takes office, they and their family will redecorate certain aspects of the White House including some artwork. So, the brilliant Obamas chose this 1983 Ed Ruscha piece entitled "I think I'll...":

Yep, you see that correctly. Obama chose a piece of artwork that flaunts indecision. Quite fitting for a President whose only decision thus far has been to triple the budget deficit record. Nice job baller!

Yes, Georgia Fans Really Act Like This

Take it from somebody close to North Georgia, these idiots are everywhere. This guy is probably at some Krystal right now ordering a Chili Cheese Pup in the same voice.

Wanna Gamble With Free Money and Keep What You Win??

I got your back. If you want to be Sam Rothstein though, clean out your ATM and go to Vegas. This is a little bit more small-time, but it's free and that's what counts. Before I get to the site, let me tell you how it works and how the are no strings attached.

This site, after you sign up, will give you 10 cents to start betting with. You can bet on everything from college football to Spanish soccer leagues. You can also bet up to a five line parlay and include bets on point spreads, over/unders, and outright money line pick 'ems. Like I said, you start with a paltry 10 cents, but you can build that up by winning and cash out. Free. No Strings. You turn that dime into $1,000, you get $1,000 cash out if you want. The key is to take that dime and turn it into a balance you can work with and make higher stakes bets with.

How does this work? Check it out after the break.

Morons......

Gotta love this guy. Not much I can say about this other than you can't get mad if the McDonald's at Wal-Mart is slow getting you your chicken, and you can't call yourself a cripple because you're morbidly obese. With that said, this contains strong redneck cursing and trailerpark language:

Today's "US Government Making It Rain With Your Tax Dollars" Moment

Remember the "Cash for Clunkers" program? You know, the one that took all of the car sales from the next 6 months and combined them into one to give a false boost to the economy? That one. The one where you could trade everything from an '84 Cutty to a Daewoo Lanos (more on the Lanos in a sec) in for a -gasp!- brand spanking new Kia or Scion or maybe even a CRV. I have no problems with Kia's, Scion's, or CRV's except when it costs the taxpayers $2,000 for every single car sold under the program. Now, break that down further and you'll see that the taxpayers paid an inordinately high percentage of the total price of the car due to the relatively low cost of the most popular cars sold under the program.

According to the University Of Delaware study that provided this information, this program has also led to an across the board decline in car donations as well as revenue from car repairs and maintence providing companies. Why? Simply because 700,000+ used cars were taken off the road in favor of vehicles that will become clunkers themselves in just a few short years. Of those 700,000+ cars, there is a percentage of cars that were perfectly fine, but got 15 mpg, or were outright destroyed by auto dealers in an attempt to cash in on Obama's program. Anyway, as for the Daewoo Lanos, enjoy:

Why I'm Happy Chicago Got Snubbed -- Afghanistan

Not so much that Chicago got snubbed, but that our very own Presidential rock star Obama did. I find it quite hilarious actually that he, his wife, and the all-powerful Oprah went out of their way to try and convince the IOC that Chicago is the right choice for Summer Olympics. You know, right after the Blagojevich scandals along with the video-taped murder of a teenager. What better place to hold a festival of sporting events celebrating world unity? My beef really isn't with Chicago though, it's more with Obama himself and the reason is Afghanistan.

An Atmosphere of Tolerance

VB's note: The second installment of the posts I did a few months
back chronicling different aspects of the Bills start up.

Until this past season's International Bowl, the University at Buffalo Bulls had not played in a bowl game their entire 102-year history of football. I use the word played because they have been invited to a bowl game. In 1958, the Buffalo Bulls went 8-1 and were invited to play in the Tangerine Bowl against Florida State. The game was not to be, however, as two members of the Buffalo Bulls, starting halfback Willie Evans and backup defensive lineman Mike Wilson, were black. This circumstance posed a problem for the Bulls because the Orlando High School Athletic Association, sponsors of the Tangerine Bowl, did not allow blacks and whites to play on the same field. Rather than leave them behind, the Bulls held a team meeting and voted not to accept the invitation and did not play in the 1958 Tangerine Bowl. Willie Evans went on to bigger and better things, however, as he was drafted to play for my grandfather on the new AFL franchise in town, the Buffalo Bills.

Ernie Davis was the first black player to win the Heisman Trophy. He starred at Syracuse University at the HB position and was named to two All-American teams. In 1959, Syracuse won the National Championship by defeating Texas in the Cotton Bowl to cap an undefeated season. After the game, Ernie Davis accepted his MVP award at the banquet and was then asked to leave because of his skin color. He also was drafted by the Buffalo Bills, but he eventually signed with Paul Brown in Cleveland after a bitter dispute between my grandfather and the Browns organization. Had there not been separate leagues, Ernie Davis may have led the Bills to prominence earlier and saved my grandfather's job. He and my grandfather were inducted to the College Football Hall of Fame in the same ceremony in 1979.

Note: For more on the 1958 Buffalo Bulls football team, please see the outstanding article "All or Nothing" by ESPN's Eric Neel here. For more on Ernie Davis, you may visit his wiki here.

East Tennessee and Western New York? Closer Than You Might Think...

VB's note: I originally wrote this some months ago for the guys at Buffalo Rumblings, but I wanted it here for posterity's sake I suppose. In any case, enjoy!

From the title alone, you may infer this to be about Terrell Owens’ collegiate career at the University Of Tennessee at Chattanooga, or maybe about the Bills tendency to draft or sign players from the University of Tennessee. It is about neither. This FanPost is meant as addendum to Matt’s chronicles of the Buffalo Bills history up to this year’s 50th anniversary. This is about their first head coach. You know him as Garrard "Buster" Ramsey. His two year stay in Buffalo was crucial to the team’s current existence. I just called him "Pop".